Rain

30 March 2011 - Norwich I'm not sure where this blog is going to take me - or even why I'm writing it. I guess I've always wanted to write but never really had the balls to do so. Yesterday, however, I read something very sad - someone I had admired and envied had taken her own life following a bout of severe depression. I didn't know her personally, but had read a lot of her work - she was passionate about her gardening, her environment, her dog, her friends, her community. I imagine I felt some empathy with her and recognised her life as being mine too. Although that may be just a symptom of growing up and turning into your mother, something we all fight so hard against but which becomes, inevitably, our lot.

I also have suffered from depression and am, thankfully, a long way from that at the moment, and I wanted to list the things I love now, just in case I end up in the depths of despair again and need a reminder of how wonderful things can be. This list is not exhaustive and, indeed, some of the things that are on it today could be on my "hate" list tomorrow. Similarly, things I barely tolerate today could be my "next big thing". So, in no particular order, my current loves are my dog; being outdoors; my job; gardening; walking; food; cooking for friends and family; flowers; driving; rain; seasons; primroses; my house.

The things I hate are injustice, unfairness, my constant guilt at over-eating and under-exercising, especially when Finn, my dog, misses out on a walk. However, I'm also cognisant that, if, for any reason, I don't take him out for a constitutional, the sky is not going to fall in. I've learned to be less hard on myself as I get older. I leave that to others.

So, how do I write this? Will it just be ramblings about what's happened during the day? Or will it be more profound than that? I guess it will be about the most important thing on my mind - today it's rain. I have spent the past two days planting a multitude of shrubs and seeds in my little garden and had almost exhausted the water supply in the well, so am very pleased to see it's rained all day and replenished the supply. I would, however, have been none too chuffed if I'd been working in the garden today. Susan x